How to Stop Avoiding Stuff

This week, someone asked for an update on an outstanding action that has been rolled over, month after month, for about a year.

“Yes,” shrugged my colleague. “We have chased that a few times, and it’s important, so we will try again, but… everyone has at least one thing that they just never seem to get around to, don’t they?”

We all avoid stuff 🤷🏻

💯 this is true.

Having spent most of my career – let’s be honest, my life – optimistically overcommitting to others, I understand very well how we tie ourselves in knots to avoid some tasks, for whatever reason.

And having worked with diverse teams for a very long time. I am certain that everyone avoids some task – what that thing is, and why they do it, varies from person to person.

Can you swap, or delegate? 🫱🏽🫲🏾

Wouldn’t it be great if we could build teams where you could swap stuff you want to avoid, with other people who actually want to do it?  And take something off their plate in exchange?

That’s possible, but only if someone (within the team or managing the team) facilitates that conversation and gives permission for work to be tackled collectively.

Our default, in most employed roles, requires people to demonstrate success by performing against hypothetical job descriptions in idealised team structures.

Aside from not being very efficient or motivating, this approach can in some cases embed structural discrimination, and penalise people who are different, for example because they are neurodiverse, or because of cultural difference.

If this has got you thinking, check out 💪🏽 Radical HR’s Policy Guide on Supervision for an alternative vision for how we can supervise and support staff.

Does the buck stop with you? ✋🏾

There are some tasks that are rightly ours, even if we don’t want them.

Because we are the only one who can, because we made a promise, because the buck stops with us.

In this case:

🤔 Ask yourself: what are you avoiding, and why?

This post-it note has lived on my desk for about two years. I wrote it when I decided I was sick of letting people down, and I wanted to do something about it.

For me, usually, the answer is: I am afraid.  I am afraid because I don’t know how to do the thing. I am afraid because the task is hard, or risky. I am afraid of failure. My name is on the thing, and that could mean a very public failure.

It would be better to do nothing, and see if anyone notices.

How do we get the thing done, then?

No magic bullets here, I’m afraid.  But these things works for me, sometimes:

• Ask for help. Address the fears you just identified. If you don’t know how to do the thing, can you speak to someone who does? If you can’t hold yourself accountable, can you enlist a buddy to encourage you and keep you right?
• Clear your desk. Make up your mind to do the thing, and take the steps to make that possible. That means clearing your diary, gathering the right tools and putting a hold on all interruptions.
• Bribe yourself. Link the task to something that motivates you. You could align completion of the task with a value that matters to you, like being a good team member, achieving a longer term goal, or being true to your word.

I hope that helps someone out there, or at least brightened your Friday afternoon.

Other awesome stuff to share this week 👩🏻

I attended a brilliant free workshop Introduction to Community Organising, delivered by the inspirational Stephanie Wong and Dami Makinde for ActBuildChange. Sign up to their newsletter or join as a member for an opportunity to attend other great events, including a workshop on collective care.

Next Thursday and Friday, I’ll be delivering two free Know Your Rights! Workshops for Neurodiverse People, for the launch of DiffandNet 🧠 a neurodiverse-led network of leaders (and aspiring leaders). Sign up to attend here.

Made it! Show me something lovely 🌸

Here’s a very relaxing little website from Léo Chéron called Play with Particles – which makes the perfect 60-second break, when you are definitely not avoiding that thing you said you were going to do!

Happy Friday, and thanks again for reading 🤓

First published on LinkedIn on 19 April 2024:

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-stop-avoiding-stuff-jen-ang-izexe/